Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
