Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My balls are so social today.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
