I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
