MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
