So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
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Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
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We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize