She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
