your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
