You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
