yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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