I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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