went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
