to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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