His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
