____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
