We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
