His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
