I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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