The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
