My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
