Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
