why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My life is pants optional.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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