you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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