Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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