Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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