I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Your tits are I can't wait for
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
