do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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