You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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