Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
