I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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