clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
