Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
