And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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