At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize