Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
