my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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