I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
