I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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