i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
