Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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