He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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