Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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