forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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