You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
