the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
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The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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