Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
