don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize