Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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