No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize