He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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