We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So squirting runs in the family.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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