Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
