when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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