im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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