Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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