he shaved USA in his pubs
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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