wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
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my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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