I was born with a shot glass in my hand
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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